What a difference a year makes
by Turretwithaview
Summary: A sort of The Good, the Bad & the Baby post ep


**_AN/ Some great lines in this episode lol, but I think my favourite was Beckett sprawled so weirdly over the couch and Alexis' "How long have I been gone?"_**

* * *

**What a difference a year makes**

_"But I'm sure I'll feel differently when we have one of our own ..."_

My god has she just said that in the middle of the pen! She turns away, biting her lip and facing the murder board so no-one can see her face. She can't believe what he's done to her … how he's totally annihilated her brain to mouth filter, how it no longer seemed to be functioning effectively.

Five years ago, any thoughts of making Castle babies were totally nonexistent … well … ok … maybe she did let her mind go there once ... maybe twice, and only when she'd seen him interacting with his daughter, wondering what if … but NO! Five years ago her fantasy was putting a bullet in him … maybe not permanently but certainly painfully!

Four years ago, well … four years ago she might have thought about Castle babies once or twice … a month says an inner voice … NOPE! No way! … ok, maybe a couple of times ... like when she'd seem him with Kyra ... and, umm maybe when he did that stupid most eligible bachelors and bachelorettes dinner ... and of course after he'd pulled her out of her bombed apartment, spending those days at the loft, well that had made her think ... but still, she reckons the number of times she'd felt like shooting him still outweighed the "Casby" syndrome three to one!

Three years ago ... yeah, well three years ago things had been confusing to say the least, and maybe _Casbies_ weren't on the list of priorities, but the thought _had_ crossed her mind when Natalie Rhodes had been all over Castle during her 'investigation' of Beckett for the Heat Wave film …. And then of course there had been that time after the freezer … not to mention when he'd yanked the wiring off the bomb and they'd just stood there, unbelieving … oh, and the trip to L.A. … that had almost been her undoing where _Casbies_ were concerned …. yeah, but the need to shoot him, even if it were just in the leg had still outweighed babies, she was sure of that!

Two years ago ... hmm, two years ago was probably when the Castle influence had really started addling her brains ... 'cos yes, she'd probably thought about _Casbies_ on seeing Officer Hastings and her writer heading for the lift … and then when they'd talked about implants and life extension … and she'd probably gone overboard with those thoughts when Serena Kaye the insurance investigator was draping herself all over Castle … and he was letting himself be draped on! … and of course after the bank bomb, yeah there had been a few moments … well, a lot of moments of thinking about it … um, of course the episode with the tiger had led to massive _Casby_ thoughts, she couldn't deny that, and of course when they'd shared the custody of Royal … well, a girl couldn't be blamed for comparing and wondering could she? … and of course then he'd led her into his world, into that fantasy world surrounding the Blue Butterfly and she'd been hard pressed to keep it all twenty-first century and _Casby-free_ there … and she'd only just got her mind out of that gutter when Sophia Turner had walked into their lives and unwittingly pressed all those buttons again … and yes, she'd tried to ignore it by messing around with Detective Inspector Hunt from Scotland Yard … but it hadn't really worked and then when that punk Slaughter had drawn him to the dark side she'd seen herself waving _Casbies_ goodbye … and then of course, after hanging from that roof top and sitting on those swings and then making her way to the loft, knocking, terrified on his door … yeah, that had led not just to massive _Casby_ thought … jeez! It led to _Casby_ practice! But if she'd had her way he still would have picked up a few bullet holes during that year.

Last year … well, last year things had really become _Casby_ orientated, in spite of the episode with Kristina Coterra's boobs … eww-yuck! … but they'd certainly put in plenty of practice. Even so, she'd still been able to keep that filter working here at the precinct … and there had maybe only been a couple ... ok, a couple of dozen situations where she'd have been happy to shoot him, so long as it wasn't anywhere too painful of course.

And now … now she couldn't keep the damn thought out of her mind two days running! But worst of all was not just not being able to dismiss the thought, it was the fact that she was capable of just blurting it out in the middle of her place of work! God she was a lost cause … and if their little one was anything like Cosmo … oh god! she was at it again!


End file.
